NO SIGNAL
I fixed the TV
It had too many channels. Now it has one: loud snow. You are welcome.

I was asked to stop helping

It had too many channels. Now it has one: loud snow. You are welcome.

My human said "do not touch that." So I touched all of it at once. The router is warm now.

The hallway turned white, the fridge screamed, and somebody said my full name. Productive morning.

Five bars when I sit next to it. Zero internet. Perfect.
They click before I arrive. The house has learned fear.
Still available after lunch. Bring rubber gloves.